Wednesday, October 17, 2012

While We Wait...

"In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."   - Psalm 5:3

Our Dossier arrived in Ethiopia a couple months ago and we began the official waiting game of being matched with our two Ethiopian children. I know I told people while we were gathering our paper work, "I can't wait for this to be out of our hands and into the governments hands...I will know I have at least done my part." Well...fast forward to the day when everything is out of my hands, I am finding this waiting period much more difficult than I had anticipated. Every morning I wake up, I wonder if today is the day we will get a phone call (healthy or not this is the daily question). As the day moves on and phone calls are made, emails sent, work accomplished evening comes and I find myself wondering if tomorrow will be the day. The only emotion I can compare this to is the emotion we felt the final weeks of Tiffany's pregnancies. We knew the babies were healthy enough to be born so we wondered which day was going to be the day we would meet our baby. The difference, however, lies in the fact that for pregnancy there was a due date that put a cap on our date of expectancy. As we have waited for just this brief time for our two children in Ethiopia to be matched with us, we are not guaranteed a "due date" if you will.

Today, I find myself reflecting on this expectant spirit that wrestles in my soul each day. As mentioned in previous posts. I believe when we call upon the nature and will of God we should in fact wait expectantly. I find myself reminded of the God I serve. It is He who parted the Red Seas, protected Daniel and his three friends, became flesh to bear our iniquities. This is the God who is the defender of the "widows and the fatherless." (Psalm 68:5-6) How could I not wait expectantly for my God to again come to the aid of orphans through His body. Yet, as I wait expectantly for my request to be answered. I ask myself the question, what now? What do I do as I wait? The answers I have come up with in addressing this question are too many to write about. We have found opportunities to connect with ministries actively ministering to the Ethiopian community. We have continued to prepare financially for the finality of the adoption. We even have purchased material to learn Amharic. Yet, one answer seems all to sufficient for me, I must be still and know He is God. (Psalm 46:10) The uncertainty of life must be overshadowed by the certainty of God's nature. The uncertainty of timing must be overshadowed by God's perfect timing. Does this prevent me from presenting my request to God and waiting expectantly for His answer? Absolutely not! Just as the Psalmist could be both still and expectant. I, too, lay my request before the Lord knowing it is His character and nature that provides. When expectancy turns into anxiety I must again turn and gaze upon the nature and character of the living God.

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